The Perfect Gifts for New Dads
Which is the Favorite? Mom or Dad?
Mother |
Father |
Child’s Verdict |
Carried the child for nine long months before enduring the pain of childbirth. |
Had sex. |
DADDY is the BEST! |
Carefully considers children’s well-being and safety. |
Can throw the baby, like, 10 feet in the air! |
DA-DDY! DA-DDY! |
Spent 45 minutes last night carefully supervising homework and repeatedly explaining the concept of fractions. |
Spent four minutes last night singing “Let It Go” in a hilarious voice at the top of his lungs. |
It’s Daddy! |
Lovingly plans and crafts healthy meals made of organic ingredients. |
Invented the ice cream dinner. |
I mean, just give up at this point. It’s Dad all the way. |
Provides unconditional love. |
Provides unconditional love AND makes fart noises on command. |
Did somebody say DADDY? |